Guys are Players, Girls are Sluts?

I'm listening to a song by Christina Aguilara and Missy Elliot. They ask why is it that a guy can sleep with five girls and he's a player, but a girl sleeps with five guys and she's a slut. I never thought about it that way, but I am sick of the double standard. Why is it guys have all the fun?

So let's fix the double standard. I see that we have two options:

1. Stop calling girls "sluts" and start calling them "players." This won't change a thing. Whore guys don't care what you call it-slut, whore, player, empowered-it means the same thing to them: they can get in your pants. "Player" will start meaning "slut" or "whore." Guys will stop calling themselves "players" and invent a new name to glorify their promiscuity. The solution isn't in changing the name.

Let's say girls can sleep around with pride and so the guys won't "have all the fun." Now girls will compete with guys to see who can sleep around the most. It's one nasty orgy where no one is loved or cherished. People become objects in a game of death.

It will never become universally acceptable for a girl to be a whore. Who wants their mom to sleep around? Because remember, almost every girl will become a mother. You want a mother who is loving, selfless, and GOOD. God gives females the gift of morality so that the next generation will have good mothers so the world doesn't fall apart. Does this mean all guys will get around? What about them?

2. Start expecting more of guys. You may not be able to change the world, but you can make it better, one guy at a time. Instead of putting out to any guy who'll hold your hand, set your standards high. Make the decision to wait to make love on your wedding night. Let people know and be proud of it. Some people will make fun of you, but then again people make fun of girls who get around too. But many people will be intrigued with your decision. No one has more power than a girl living chastity.

-Matt

Chastity Robs Spontaneity?

I understand that chastity is a safe way to live. But, doesn't chastity rob the spontaneity and romance of the moment?

Please, make the most of each moment, each day. But know that you face the consequences of your decisions. "Living for the moment" effects what happens the next moment, the moment after, etc. Practically, when you spontaneously get naked and have sex, you have do deal with the consequences: temporary pleasure, the fear of pregnancy or an STD, your parents finding out, carrying the baggage to the next relationship, etc. Spontaneity is not the absence of thinking.

The romance? Don't confuse "romance" for getting aroused then physical in pretty places. A girl can be seduced with what seems like romance. Every guy knows flowers make a girl happy. But, in order for there to be real romance, there must be real love. Real love is selfless and patient. Only then will the crackling fire and homemade meal have meaning.

Romance doesn't require getting physical. The most adventurous and creative couples know this. A few weeks ago, I was mad at my girlfriend because she wouldn't relax and kiss me. She had a long, hard day. I realized I was being selfish, so I reluctantly did what Jesus did-I washed her feet. I took all my energy and scrubbed her toes, then rubbed her arches and heals. By the time I was done, I had a change of heart. I kissed her toes and spent the rest of the night making the evening perfect for her. It was so romantic, and so much better than just getting my kiss fix.

-Matt

Blind Date?

My friend has found the perfect guy for me. I think a blind date would be fun. What should we do?

I have three blind dates I want to tell you about:

1. Bad: My friend in New York City met a girl he knew was perfect for me. We had the same morals, interests, and a lot more. She and I emailed a few times, and arranged to meet each other for breakfast. From the first few minutes together, it was apparent we would not get along. The date was miserable and embarrassing for both of us.
   
   
2. Better: My roommate Matt wanted me to meet a girl he thought I should date. We planned on her and her friend joining us guys for dinner at my apartment. The girls brought dinner and guys made desert. Over dinner, I realized this girl was great, but we didn't have any chemistry. Because there was four of us, we were able to still have fun. When I see her around, we have a happy memory.
   
   
3. Best: My roommate Matt wanted me to meet another girl. He and I went over her family's house for dinner with no expectation that we should date. I got to know her, and her family. I kept going over for dinner with no pressure or expectation. After two years of growing up together, we are now dating.
   

My advice? Go with your friend and make sure he comes with a guy friend. That way, there's no pressure and no disappointments. If you two do hit it off, you'll go out again.

-Matt